welcome
to yoururl.blogspot.com
be my escape- relient k
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
Monday, November 21, 2005
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Why do I somehow feel that as I grow older, I tend to take more and more of life's misfortunes upon my shoulders? Even those that I can't exert much control over. Hell, I know I can't control everything that's happening around me but that knowledge doesn't do much to help the images that keeps flashing in my head. A hundred different things all at once, it's no wonder I'm going a little loony.
There hasn't been much going on lately, just loads of trainings and the whatever-I-can-squeeze-within-trainings. Not to say that we're training 24/7 but most of the time now trainings just take the piss out of me and I end up not doing anything much save slacking and watching telly on the days in between. Haven't been down for capoeira since god-knows-when and I'm really ashamed of that. But I haven't been feeling that itch since I waved bye bye to the philippine batizado trip and that's compounded by the fact that my back's usually all screwed up now. So I guess I don't know when I'll be back there but the fact still remains, I love that shit.
Body and soul's been a bit messed up lately. An awful lot of self-made ups and downs. A little bit of paranoia and a little bit of chemical x makes for a whole load of heartache. It's been rough but then again, when has life ever been a bed of roses? Hopefully with a bit of luck, I'll be right as a rose in no time though by saying that I've probably just jinxed myself.
That reminds me.
I want breakfast. A nice hot breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacons and french toast with a nice big glass of ice milo. Yummy! Would make it myself but for the fact that I'm feeling really lazy right now. As such it remains all, a beautiful dream.
Please don't ask me why I'm up at such an ungodly hour during the holidays because I don't really have an answer to that question. Just venturing a guess though, it might have been a combination of hunger pangs and the pain radiating from my lower back.
Oh and something really took me by suprise recently. Took me a while to recover from shock but now I'm alright. Same old same old me. Can't say I didn't entertain any thoughts or indulge in fantasies about it but the last time I checked, neither of that was a criminal offence. It doesn't mean a thing though, 'course if I've learnt anything in these few months, I've learnt this. It doesn't mean anything.
I hear my dad in the living room. Think I'll take this time to ask him about our holiday plans. And maybe con him into making breakfast.
Laters.